Most career advice assumes you’re applying for a job that’s open to anyone — posted, advertised, competed for on equal footing with strangers. Nobody really covers what it’s like to step into a role because someone you know is leaving it, and how differently that experience unfolds from the inside. It’s a different experience entirely, and it comes with its own quiet pressure that generic job-search advice doesn’t prepare you for.
I know this firsthand. I got my security position at Sonasa because my friend — the same friend who’d walked in with me to submit my CV months earlier — was moving to Portugal for work, and helped switch me into his spot.
Why This Situation Deserves Its Own Advice
Career content almost universally assumes a straightforward hiring funnel: a job is posted, candidates apply, interviews happen, someone is chosen at the end of a formal process. That model doesn’t capture what happens when a role changes hands through a personal relationship instead — a friend leaving for another opportunity, a family member relocating, a colleague vouching for you directly to management without a formal application ever being filed. This path into employment is common, especially in smaller job markets and among foreign workers who rely heavily on personal networks. Yet almost nothing is written about what it actually feels like once you’re in the role, and how to handle the specific dynamics that come with it.
The Pressure You Don’t Expect
When you’re hired into an open role, you’re being evaluated against a job description. When you take over someone else’s exact position, you’re being measured — consciously or not, by yourself if by no one else — against the person who was there before you. Nobody says this out loud, but you feel it in the early days, in ways that are hard to fully articulate to someone who hasn’t experienced it.
Knowing that, I made a deliberate choice from day one: put more energy into the work than I probably needed to. Not out of anxiety exactly, but out of respect for the opportunity and genuine gratitude toward my friend for making it possible in the first place. That energy felt less like pressure and more like a way of honoring what had been handed to me.
The Moment I Knew It Was Working
I didn’t get formal feedback in my first week. What I got was better, in a way — an informal, honest signal that nobody had orchestrated. One of the bank’s cleaning staff mentioned to me that a bank employee had described me as cheerful and caring. Nobody scheduled that conversation. Nobody was grading me. It was just someone noticing how I was showing up, day to day, and choosing to pass it along.
A month later, I was given my contract. I’ve always tied that early comment to how deliberately I approached those first weeks — not because one comment “earned” me a contract on its own, but because it confirmed the extra effort was actually visible to the people around me, not just something I felt internally and hoped was landing.
What Actually Helped Me Settle In
1. I didn’t try to erase the fact that I’d taken over someone else’s spot. Everyone at the bank and within the company likely knew I was stepping into my friend’s old position. Trying to hide that or act like it wasn’t the case would have been strange, and probably counterproductive. Instead, I focused on doing the work well enough that the connection became a footnote to how people saw me, not the main story.
2. I put in visible extra effort early, especially in the first weeks. This wasn’t about performing for an audience or trying to be seen. It was a genuine choice to show up fully, and it happened to be noticed by people I hadn’t even directly interacted with much yet.
3. I paid attention to informal signals, not just formal ones. The cleaner’s comment wasn’t an official performance review, but it told me more about how I was landing with the people around me than any scheduled check-in could have. I started paying closer attention to these small, unofficial moments after that.
4. I treated my friend’s departure as a responsibility, not just an opportunity. He’d vouched for me. That mattered. I didn’t want his recommendation to reflect poorly on him because I underperformed, so part of my motivation in those early weeks was protecting the trust he’d extended on my behalf.
What I’d Tell Someone in the Same Position
If you’re stepping into a role because of a personal connection — a friend, a family member, a former colleague who vouched for you — here’s what I’d say, based entirely on what actually helped me:
- Expect an invisible measuring stick. You may never be told directly that you’re being compared to your predecessor, but assume it’s happening quietly, and let your own effort answer it rather than trying to address it directly with anyone.
- Don’t apologize for how you got the opportunity. A referral or a personal connection getting you in the door isn’t something to be defensive about — what you do once you’re there is what actually matters, and it’s what people will remember longer term.
- Pay attention outside of formal reviews. Some of the most honest feedback about how you’re doing will come from people who have no reason to flatter you — cleaners, security colleagues, receptionists, not just direct supervisors who may be more guarded in what they share.
- Let extra effort speak for itself early on. You don’t need to announce that you’re trying hard, and doing so might even undercut the sincerity of it. Just do it, consistently, especially in the first few weeks when people are still forming their impression of you.
- Remember that someone vouched for you. That’s a form of trust extended on your behalf. Carrying that awareness, without letting it become a source of anxiety, can be a genuinely healthy motivator in your first weeks.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it awkward when coworkers know you replaced someone they liked? It can be, at least internally for you, even if nobody says anything directly. I found that consistent, genuine effort resolved most of that discomfort naturally over time.
Should you bring up your predecessor in conversation, or avoid the topic entirely? I didn’t try to avoid it, since everyone likely already knew. I just didn’t dwell on it either — I let my own work be the focus going forward, which felt more natural than either hiding it or over-explaining it to people who already understood the situation.
How long did it take before it stopped feeling like “taking over someone’s job” and started feeling like your own role? For me, it was a gradual shift, but the informal feedback in the first week and the contract offer a month in were both moments that made the role start to feel genuinely mine.
What if the person you’re replacing wasn’t well liked, rather than well liked, by coworkers? I can’t speak to that directly since my situation was the opposite, but I’d imagine the same principle applies either way — your own consistent behavior, not your predecessor’s reputation, is ultimately what shapes how people see you over time.
Why This Matters Beyond My Own Story
This situation — inheriting someone’s exact role through a personal connection — is common, especially for foreign workers in smaller job markets where formal hiring pipelines are limited and personal networks carry real weight. If this happens to you, know that it’s not a lesser or less “legitimate” way into a job, even if it sometimes feels that way in the beginning. What you build from there, through your own effort and consistency, is entirely yours, regardless of how the door first opened.
For more on how relationships shape job outcomes in tighter markets, our piece on job searching after relocating to a smaller country covers how I found this opportunity in the first place, from the very first CV I submitted alongside my friend.
What I’d Say to My Friend Now, Looking Back
If I could tell my friend one thing, looking back on all of this, it would be thank you — not just for the referral itself, but for the trust it represented. Taking over his position gave me a way into stable work far faster than I would have found on my own, but it also gave me something less tangible: a reminder that opportunities in a tight, unfamiliar market often come through people, not applications. That’s a lesson I’ve carried into how I think about every opportunity since, whether it’s work, housing, or even building relationships within Cape Verde’s small expat community.
Have you ever stepped into a role because of someone you knew, rather than an open application? What was that first month actually like for you?
